What It Feels Like to Be Undiagnosed
What happens when a disability goes unrecognised, and what changes when it doesn't?
Published 25 March 2026. Written by Dr. Chris Worfolk.
Being an undiagnosed neurodivergent child is like being a wheelchair user. Except you don't know you are a wheelchair user. And nobody around you knows you are a wheelchair user.
You go about your life with your friends and family. And they keep walking up steps. But you can't walk up the steps. And you don't know why you can't walk up the steps. It's scary and confusing.
The people around you can't understand why you don't walk up the steps. They get annoyed by you. You say things like "How do I walk up the steps? Can you explain it to me?" And they look more annoyed and say things like "Just walk up the steps", "Stop being stupid", and "Stop being lazy".
You feel bad about yourself. You're trying to walk up the steps, but you just keep bumping into them. Everyone else is walking up the steps. You don't understand what you are doing differently.
Or, if you have enough resources, you drag yourself up the steps using your arms. By the time you reach the top, you are exhausted and covered in cuts and grazes. It hurts. You assume this is just how it feels. You assume this is just normal.
Then you get an assessment. Your assessor explains that you are a wheelchair user. You notice the chair. Suddenly, everything makes a lot more sense. You understand why everyone else could walk up the steps while you found it so hard.
The assessor explains that you can use a ramp instead. You start using ramps. Life gets a lot easier. Most of your loved ones are happy to use the ramp with you.
There is sadness, too. Sadness for all of those years you spent struggling and not understanding why. All of those years being horrible to yourself for not just walking up the steps. And now all that you can notice is the numbers of stairs. They're everywhere for seemingly no reason.
But, overall, life makes a lot more sense now. You learn to build your own ramps. And be kind to yourself when there are no ramps around.